Today is the start of breastfeeding week, and I feel like a bit of a failure. My husband had to work the morning shift today, and won't be able to bring our baby to visit me at work. This meant that I needed to have enough milk pumped to leave 4 bottles at home. With her drinking 3-4 oz per meal, that would mean I'd need 12-16 oz of expressed milk. I only got 6 oz. Needless to say, I was not able to meet the quota for pumping last night. For the first time ever, I had to break into the freezer stash. It wasn't a good feeling to not be able to produce enough for her to have fresh milk for the day.
In addition, I will go longer today without nursing than I have ever gone before. I hate the idea of being away from my baby for so long, and I know that pumping three times today will not help my low supply issues any.
Keeping my fingers crossed that tomorrow will be a better day.
Monday, July 29, 2013
Friday, July 26, 2013
The Power of Breast Feeding
This story is amazing. I of course was in tears reading it. The power of breast feeding is a truly amazing gift. The benefits are so numerous for both mother and child. There is healing for both. I just thought this was something that needs to be shared with the world.
Thursday, July 25, 2013
Supply and Demand
After being back at work for two full weeks, the start of my third week was…. well… weak. I went from having super boob and slacker boob, to two lazy boobs that decided they wanted to play hooky from work. Monday and Tuesday mornings, I struggled to get 3 oz. Not enough for a bottle for my daughter who usually drinks 3.5-4 oz per bottle.
Now, I know that breast feeding is a supply and demand system. In a nut shell, the more she nurses, the more I’ll make; the less she nurses, the less I’ll make. We all know that a pump is no replacement for a baby. Our babies can drain our breasts more efficiently, and sometimes faster than some of the top end electric pumps. Now that I had been pumping at work, and took the weekend off of pumping (from soreness) my demand had dropped my supply. In a quick effort to kick start my production again, I started taking fenugreek tablets, and drinking lactation smoothies daily. In addition, I've started pumping after she eats at home, and worked in one additional pumping session at night. After only two days of all that work, my supply is back up to what it was. However, this brings me to the conclusion that one year is going to be a very difficult goal.
Between sales meetings running into my pumping time, and having to complete my work while at work (since working from home is a lot less efficient) I have been starting to feel like pumping is getting the short end of the stick. Feeding my daughter is more important to me than anything in the world. As soon as my supply starts to drop, I notice immediately, and kick into mommy stress mode. Which of course, doesn't help make anything better, and can actually drop one’s supply. It makes me wonder, are other mothers jumping through all these hoops to keep the milk flowing? Am I insane to be drinking smoothies and teas, eating copious amounts of oatmeal, and popping fenugreek tablets like vitamins? Probably yes, and surely I can’t be the only one.
I am by no means a lactation consultant, but have received some great advice on how to up your supply from other nursing mothers. If you’re struggling, try to start with the following things:
- Increase your water intake. If you aren't drinking enough, you aren’t making enough.
- Eat well. If you aren't eating a well-balanced breast feeding friendly diet, then chances are, your body is struggling to balance your needs, and your little ones.
- Nurse more frequently. It’s simple, a baby that nurses more often, will signal your body to make more milk. You can try to mimic cluster feeding by offering your breast every hour for several hours in a row (like topping off the tank) to help keep the milk flowing.
- Pump. Yes, it hurts, and we all hate doing it, but pumping after your baby eats, or in between feedings, or getting out of bed late at night to do another session will help your body to keep pumping. Now keep in mind, if you’re pumping at the same time every day, it should make your body start producing at the same time every day. So if you don’t want to keep waking up in the middle of the night forever, try to time it for right after your nightly feeding, or right after your morning feeding.
- Try a galactagogue. There are tons of herbs and foods that you can eat that naturally help increase your supply. Great info here, and also has great sections on how breast milk production works, as well as how to know if you actually have a low supply: http://www.breastfeeding-problems.com/galactagogues.html
- Visit your local lactation consultant or LLL. Find yours at www.llli.org
If all else fails, talk to your doctor. There are medications and other things they can recommend if your supply has started to dry up.
Monday, July 15, 2013
Embarrassed
A recent article published by the Huffington Post brought to light some major issues regarding breast feeding in public. (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/07/07/hollie-mcnish-breastfeeding-in-public-embarrassed_n_3557230.html) I know it's a touchy subject, so I wanted to address this early on in my blog. I'll put it out there. I feel like a mother should have the right to feed her baby anywhere, anytime, and should never be made to feel embarrassed about feeding her child.
This says it all. "Embarrassed" is spoken word by Hollie McNish, a mother no longer afraid to speak out about breast feeding her child in public. Forced to feed in public bathroom stalls out of fear of comments, dirty looks, and society's pressures against nursing in public, McNish has finally had it. She wrote the words spoken in the video above while nursing her child in a public bathroom stall.
I have to say, this is perhaps one of the most inspiring things I have heard as a new mother. Breast feeding in the US is awkward. Although we legally have the right to breast feed in public now, most mothers still feel the need to cover up. And many of those that do (myself included) still fear that we will be kicked out of stores, restaurants, and other public spaces by people who think that it's "dirty" or "indecent" to breastfeed a child. Let's face it, society can be really hard on a new mother. Constantly telling us how we should raise our children, what, how and where we should feed them. The simple act of feeding our children has become micromanaged by societal pressures. We have allowed strangers to convince us that breastfeeding our children in public is something sexual. Katharine McKinney from the Huffington Post points out rightly that "If you don't support breastfeeding in public, then you don't support breastfeeding." Read the article here: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/katharine-mckinney/breastfeeding-in-public_b_2814004.html
This brings up the greater issue. Since when did America have a problem with breasts? McNish points out that advertising has breasts everywhere. Although we are not the UK, we are often worse when it comes to sex in advertising. It's everywhere. For some reason, our country has assumed that breasts being displayed must be something sexual. Even though the actual purpose and design is intended for feeding our children. How did we make this leap? When did our country become so outraged at seeing an uncovered nursing mother, but doesn't seem to bat an eye at underwear models plastered on billboards, commercials, and magazines? Somehow, our country has equated feeding a child with the same indecency of Janet Jackson flashing the world during a half time Superbowl show.
One of the girls in a mommy group I belong to talked about an encounter she had while nursing in public. A man she didn't know made a comment while walking past her during a nursing session. He said, "hide your shame." Since when did feeding a child become something shameful? I would ask the question, if men in this country are so perverted that they have to make everything about sex, but the sad truth is, that even many women have a problem with nursing in public. Women have become embarrassed of their own bodies. We are shaming each other into covering up, and hiding away in bathroom stalls. We are eating away at an infant's right to eat.
It's not a singular occurrence either. It happens everywhere. Hollister, McDonalds, Facebook, Target, buses, court rooms, government buildings, the mall, the pool, a Delta airline flight, churches, and cafes across America. Mothers are being kicked off of flights and out of stores for nursing. They are being publicly humiliated by Judges in courtrooms, managers in restaurants, and random strangers who think they have a right to dictate when and how a child should be fed. The ironic part? That many of these same strangers are the ones who give dirty looks and comments when a baby is crying uncontrollably in public as well. The nursing mother is damned if she does, damned if she doesn't. We can't win. It feels like some of the most educated people in America are the ones that are helping to perpetuate the belief that nursing in public is "distracting" or "indecent." When a baby gets hungry on a flight, what are we supposed to do? Babies don't just stop being hungry for your convenience. Breastfeeding is necessary. As McNish and McKinney point out, before we had breast pumps, bottles, formula, and before society decided that it was something indecent, it was a necessary act. Breastfeeding is still necessary. Nothing has changed other than the attitudes of individuals.
1. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/07/07/hollie-mcnish-breastfeeding-in-public-embarrassed_n_3557230.html
2. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/katharine-mckinney/breastfeeding-in-public_b_2814004.html
Sunday, July 14, 2013
Pumping at Work
I finally returned to work this week. After being off for almost 11 weeks, it was a bitter sweet return. Now, I love my job. Not many people can say that. I have great co workers, the company is very supportive of families, and I genuinely enjoy working. Coming back to work also presented the challenge of pumping three times a day to replace the meals my daughter was eating during the day.
This meant lugging my double electric pump back and forth every day. It meant trying to get a space at the same times every day. It meant storing the milk safely after pumping. I'll be honest, it's a bit awkward. Under the new federal law, since my employer has more than 100 employees, they are required to provide a space that is private, and not a bathroom. I am so grateful for that last provision. I don't know about you, but I hate the idea of eating my food prepared in the bathroom. So the thought of feeding my tiny, helpless little girl a bottle of "bathroom milk" just feels dirty.
Since the law is relatively new, this meant that our office had not yet built a space for lactation breaks. Instead, HR had spoken to the company president, who decided I could use his office. It felt rather strange to find myself in the company president's office, sitting on the floor behind the door, pumping breast milk. Since his office is on the second floor, it has a window overlooking the stairwell. No one can technically see in, but I'm still super paranoid (being my first week, I'm sure this is natural) that someone will see me. Hence, the sitting on the floor.
The logistics of pumping are rather daunting. I felt pressured to hurry up. Not from anyone in the office, but from the guilt of being away from my desk. It's impossible to rush lactation. The milk will come when it comes, and stop when it stops. This means including set up, and clean up, and the actual pumping time, that I could be away from my desk for about 25 minutes. That adds up over the course of the day. I spoke with HR, and informed them that I'd be taking my breaks in conjunction with my lactation breaks, to minimize the time I spent away from my desk. None the less, I still felt bad. But what can I do? My little girl's got to eat!
I'm very fortunate that my first week back to work, my husband brought our daughter to my office on my lunch break each day. Since he works swing shifts, he's home with her during the day. This meant one less pumping session I had to do each day. So far, I've only had to do twice a day, and it always feels strange to me. Plus, she generally does the work much quicker than the pump does.
The good news, I survived the first week. I worry so much about my supply dropping, not being able to keep up with her needs, and about eventually having to supplement. I hate that idea so much. Now, I know there are many women who choose formula for a variety of reasons. Either they couldn't nurse, their supply just didn't come in, or things didn't work out. Some just choose formula from the start. I'm not bashing moms who choose this route. We all do what we have to do. But for me personally, I want to avoid formula more than anything in the world. I will likely write a post soon about my thoughts and views of formula. However, this is not that post.
I think the most challenging part of the week was finding a consistent space. I can't always expect the company president to not be busy, or on the phone, or even in his office at the same times every day. Since my daughter usually eats sometime between 8:00 and 9:00, I aim for an 8:30 am session. Then again at 11 or 11:30, and one more time between 1:00 and 2:00. Unfortunately, this week I ended up pumping in the HR manager's office once (president was just not there, and the door was locked), and also did a dreaded bathroom pump. I had no other choice, as the HR office was closed, the president was gone, and another co worker with a private office was out of town. I hated it. I hated every minute of pumping in the bathroom, but after going 4 hours, I was starting to feel painfully full. As a result, I purchased a car adapter for my pump, and the president of the company gave me a key to prevent it from happening again.
After I pumped, I stored my milk in the cooler, in my co worker's private fridge. I am so lucky that these guys don't mind my awkward jokes about not wanting someone to confuse it with creamer. It's hard not to have a sense of humor when you feel like a milking cow hooked up to a machine two to three times a day.
This meant lugging my double electric pump back and forth every day. It meant trying to get a space at the same times every day. It meant storing the milk safely after pumping. I'll be honest, it's a bit awkward. Under the new federal law, since my employer has more than 100 employees, they are required to provide a space that is private, and not a bathroom. I am so grateful for that last provision. I don't know about you, but I hate the idea of eating my food prepared in the bathroom. So the thought of feeding my tiny, helpless little girl a bottle of "bathroom milk" just feels dirty.
Since the law is relatively new, this meant that our office had not yet built a space for lactation breaks. Instead, HR had spoken to the company president, who decided I could use his office. It felt rather strange to find myself in the company president's office, sitting on the floor behind the door, pumping breast milk. Since his office is on the second floor, it has a window overlooking the stairwell. No one can technically see in, but I'm still super paranoid (being my first week, I'm sure this is natural) that someone will see me. Hence, the sitting on the floor.
The logistics of pumping are rather daunting. I felt pressured to hurry up. Not from anyone in the office, but from the guilt of being away from my desk. It's impossible to rush lactation. The milk will come when it comes, and stop when it stops. This means including set up, and clean up, and the actual pumping time, that I could be away from my desk for about 25 minutes. That adds up over the course of the day. I spoke with HR, and informed them that I'd be taking my breaks in conjunction with my lactation breaks, to minimize the time I spent away from my desk. None the less, I still felt bad. But what can I do? My little girl's got to eat!
I'm very fortunate that my first week back to work, my husband brought our daughter to my office on my lunch break each day. Since he works swing shifts, he's home with her during the day. This meant one less pumping session I had to do each day. So far, I've only had to do twice a day, and it always feels strange to me. Plus, she generally does the work much quicker than the pump does.
The good news, I survived the first week. I worry so much about my supply dropping, not being able to keep up with her needs, and about eventually having to supplement. I hate that idea so much. Now, I know there are many women who choose formula for a variety of reasons. Either they couldn't nurse, their supply just didn't come in, or things didn't work out. Some just choose formula from the start. I'm not bashing moms who choose this route. We all do what we have to do. But for me personally, I want to avoid formula more than anything in the world. I will likely write a post soon about my thoughts and views of formula. However, this is not that post.
I think the most challenging part of the week was finding a consistent space. I can't always expect the company president to not be busy, or on the phone, or even in his office at the same times every day. Since my daughter usually eats sometime between 8:00 and 9:00, I aim for an 8:30 am session. Then again at 11 or 11:30, and one more time between 1:00 and 2:00. Unfortunately, this week I ended up pumping in the HR manager's office once (president was just not there, and the door was locked), and also did a dreaded bathroom pump. I had no other choice, as the HR office was closed, the president was gone, and another co worker with a private office was out of town. I hated it. I hated every minute of pumping in the bathroom, but after going 4 hours, I was starting to feel painfully full. As a result, I purchased a car adapter for my pump, and the president of the company gave me a key to prevent it from happening again.
After I pumped, I stored my milk in the cooler, in my co worker's private fridge. I am so lucky that these guys don't mind my awkward jokes about not wanting someone to confuse it with creamer. It's hard not to have a sense of humor when you feel like a milking cow hooked up to a machine two to three times a day.
The Goal
When my husband and I first found out we were having a baby, we were super excited and couldn't wait to welcome her into the world. Now, at 11 weeks old, I can only say that the excitement then is nothing compared to the daily joy of holding her in my arms. She truly is the best thing that's ever happened to me. The story of our pregnancy was fairly typical to that of most pregnant mothers in the United States. I found out I was pregnant at about 6 weeks along, and confirmed my pregnancy with my OB/GYN. I had been seeing the same doctor since I was 19, and had figured that was just the way that things were done.
Late in the second trimester, my husband and I watched a documentary called, "The Business of Being Born." Game changer. I had always planned on going as natural as I possibly could. A lot of people would side eye me on this, and say things like, "yeah right, you'll see when you're in the hospital." I didn't like hearing those things, because to me, I had the mindset that giving birth had been done for thousands of years before me, and the idea of medical intervention was relatively new in the grand scheme of things. So the great hunt began.
I went on a quest to find a midwife that would still take me on. I was very lucky to find one in the town I live in, and not too far from work. Our first meeting made me feel a bit awkward, as the concept of a midwife felt foreign to me. I loved her from that beginning though. She put me at ease, suggested some readings, explained how a midwife works, and what her roll would be in helping to bring my little girl into the world. She encouraged me to find a doula (professional labor coach) and asked how involved my husband planned to be. The questions just felt right. So of course, I switch from an OB/GYN hospital birth plan, to a midwife assisted birthing center plan. I'm very fortunate that my state allows free standing birth centers, and a great one was only about 45 minutes from our home.
One of the topics that our midwife brought up frequently was what concerns I might have. Like most first time mothers, I was so nervous about breast feeding. I'd heard horror stories about people who couldn't make milk for their babies. I'd had a relative who's milk didn't come in for 6 days, and supplementing with formula was recommended. I'd read articles about the benefits of breast feeding, and about the concerns of formula fed babies. For some reason, our country has been divided. I felt like I would be shamed for feeding my child the way my body was designed to do. I wasn't sure if I would be able to, but I told my midwife I want to breast feed for at least the first year.
Now, considering that I have a full time job, I knew this was going to be one of the biggest challenges for me. My midwife assured me that if I was serious, that I could definitely make that happen. 11 weeks in, and we're still going strong. I've returned to work this week, and have come to the realization that we have very limited support or knowledge of breast feeding in this country. The goal and purpose of my blog is to document the struggles, challenges, and rewards of breast feeding my child for at least the first year of her life. It won't always be easy, but I know there are others out there struggling to achieve their own goals. Whatever yours may be, I welcome your support and encouragement, and am right there beside you nursing on.
Late in the second trimester, my husband and I watched a documentary called, "The Business of Being Born." Game changer. I had always planned on going as natural as I possibly could. A lot of people would side eye me on this, and say things like, "yeah right, you'll see when you're in the hospital." I didn't like hearing those things, because to me, I had the mindset that giving birth had been done for thousands of years before me, and the idea of medical intervention was relatively new in the grand scheme of things. So the great hunt began.
I went on a quest to find a midwife that would still take me on. I was very lucky to find one in the town I live in, and not too far from work. Our first meeting made me feel a bit awkward, as the concept of a midwife felt foreign to me. I loved her from that beginning though. She put me at ease, suggested some readings, explained how a midwife works, and what her roll would be in helping to bring my little girl into the world. She encouraged me to find a doula (professional labor coach) and asked how involved my husband planned to be. The questions just felt right. So of course, I switch from an OB/GYN hospital birth plan, to a midwife assisted birthing center plan. I'm very fortunate that my state allows free standing birth centers, and a great one was only about 45 minutes from our home.
One of the topics that our midwife brought up frequently was what concerns I might have. Like most first time mothers, I was so nervous about breast feeding. I'd heard horror stories about people who couldn't make milk for their babies. I'd had a relative who's milk didn't come in for 6 days, and supplementing with formula was recommended. I'd read articles about the benefits of breast feeding, and about the concerns of formula fed babies. For some reason, our country has been divided. I felt like I would be shamed for feeding my child the way my body was designed to do. I wasn't sure if I would be able to, but I told my midwife I want to breast feed for at least the first year.
Now, considering that I have a full time job, I knew this was going to be one of the biggest challenges for me. My midwife assured me that if I was serious, that I could definitely make that happen. 11 weeks in, and we're still going strong. I've returned to work this week, and have come to the realization that we have very limited support or knowledge of breast feeding in this country. The goal and purpose of my blog is to document the struggles, challenges, and rewards of breast feeding my child for at least the first year of her life. It won't always be easy, but I know there are others out there struggling to achieve their own goals. Whatever yours may be, I welcome your support and encouragement, and am right there beside you nursing on.
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